Growing up, we are often lauded by our parents and friends for the feats that we accomplish. As a high-schooler, my situation was no different—I was a competitive athlete and student, and with every success came encouragement and affection from my parents. And while I am grateful for this support, I’ve also come to realize the importance of keeping these accomplishments in perspective.
I mention this because I began to notice that the outcomes of my activities were influencing how I felt about myself. When you receive extra attention or affection when you do well, it’s easy to see how success becoming very important to you. Gradually, my successes began to form part of my identity–who I saw myself as– and, in general, a relationship began to form between outcomes and my feelings about myself. Though after a success I would feel confident and joyful, when I felt that I “failed,” my self-esteem would fall, leaving me feeling unworthy.
The more and more I learn about mindfulness and curiosity, the more I am in awe of their power. For at least the past 3 years, I’ve both researched and thought about these topics, as well as conducted my own personal experiments in them.